Is He The One?

Posted: July 23, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Ah….the undeniable scent of love is in the air.   This weekend I had the privilege  to attend the sacred union of 2 beautiful individuals coming together in marriage. You could feel the genuine love and dedication between them the entire time. From the moment you walked into the ceremony, the very presence of God was evident.  You just knew they had truly asked God to be the head of their partnership and it seems God’s hand is definitely on this venture. During the course of the ceremony, they exchanged personal vows written exclusively to one another.  The groom spoke first and from the moment he uttered his first words, there was scarcely a dry eye in the place. His humility and vulnerability before God, before his bride and help mate, before those of us chosen to witness the open declaration of the marriage covenant was deeply touching.  By the time the bride finished her expression of love to him, quite a few of us were undone, silent tears streaming down our faces at the beauty of the moment.  The blessing of seeing strong Godly marriages among my family, close friends and even this most recent union encourages me that if I wait for God’s choice and timing for who He has for me, it is will be so apparently right.   But sometimes it’s so hard to know.  Really, what does he look like?  Is he the one?

In comes the well known biblical book of Ruth that captures the story of Ruth and Boaz.   For those of you who don’t know the story (highly suggest you read it if you don’t), in short there is a woman named Naomi, who had a husband and 2 sons.  Consequently after moving to another region, through the marriages of the sons Naomi gains 2 daughters-in-law one of which is named Ruth.  In a twist of fate, Naomi’s husband and 2 sons die prematurely. The custom of the day would be that if Naomi had other living  sons, they would wife and assume responsibility for their dead brothers’ widows. Since Naomi had no other sons, ordinarily the next step would be for the daughters-in-law to go back to their parents’ household.  Ruth however had such a deep love for Naomi that she choses to stay with Naomi, care for her and follow her back to her homeland in Bethelem.  The story of Ruth chronicles the deep bond between these 2 women, their journey after loss and ultimately how God turns their tragedy into blessing through a man named Boaz, who eventually becomes Ruth’s husband.  In Christian circles, in step with the biblical Boaz,  people often refer to the Boaz prototype as that ideal husband.  A man who loved God; a man of honor, integrity, honesty,  good character, well respected, financially sound, loving and faithful to his family and community. If that wasn’t enough, the original Boaz is great grandfather to the renowned biblical character David and we know ultimately through David’s lineage, Jesus came to be.  Let’s just say Boaz comes from good stock, is definitely a keeper  and the ideal for every Christian woman. You rarely can sit among a group of single Christian women without the conversation somehow taking a detour to the topic of their Boaz prototype.  What does he look like? When is he coming?  How will he approach?  The questions and analysis can go on and on.

There are so many valuable life lessons and nuggets of wisdom in the book of Ruth.  A wonderful and  cleverly written book by two mighty women of God, authors Shivonne Mckay and Zakariya Harrison, titled Becoming A Woman Like Ruth gives great insight and further revelation into Ruth, her  journey and her process to marriage and ultimate  redemption. I strongly encourage you to pick up your copy as the release date is officially today, July 23, 2013 and is available via, , Barnes and Nobles and all major distributors.  I guarantee this will be a blessing to you and you won’t be disappointed.  So let me put my disclaimer in now that this is certainly not a relationship forum nor do I proclaim to be a relationship expert. I am definitely not trying to tackle and address all of the intricacies and facets that comes with dating, courting, marriage and relationships. Honestly, I’m trying to understand and  navigate that road myself.  But ladies let me highlight  a few things, a few P’s that I noted  by the help of the Holy Spirit, that make Boaz as we know him appealing. Fellas if you’re reading, hope this blesses you too; especially if you are searching for that special one God has for you.   What makes Boaz such an admired character and appealing life partner?  Boaz, in regards to Ruth did these key things:  1) Picked her out and payed attention to her, 2)  praised and promoted her 3) Protected her 4) Prayed blessings over her 5)Provided for her.

1) Picked her out and payed attention to her

–The bible said Boaz asked his servant when he saw Ruth, ” Whose young woman is this?” (Ruth 2:5, NKJV)  Look at this– Ruth is busy minding her business and the man noticed her and starting asking questions (side note:  How many times have you heard people say, when they weren’t looking for someone, that’s when that special person showed up in their life?).   Or as Dr. Pat, host of Lunch Date with Jesus prayer conference line (an awesome intercessory prayer forum M-F, 12:30-1:30 pm eastern time,  567-314-0035, code 5555# )  commonly says, Ruth had that “unique aroma or scent” that drew Boaz in.  Ladies, when God is introducing you to the special partner he has designed just for you, you don’t have to do cartwheels and jump through hoops to get his attention.   You don’t have to chase them down with text, phone calls and emails.  You don’t have to keep pushing yourself up unnecessarily.  Because God divinely orchestrated it, once God shows him who you are and he is receptive,  believe me he will pay attention. He will show interest.  He is going to take notice.  Even if you are meeting  people online, if God ordained you to meet your match in that forum, that man may be screening through different profiles and you are doing the same.  But once the divine introduction takes place, you are going to stand out in the bunch.

 2) Praised and  promoted her

-It’s amazing how he did this all in one encounter. Fellas, the praise part is a no-brainer.  Every woman loves a compliment.   He first praised or indirectly commended her on  leaving her family and her home country to take care of her widowed mother-in- law (Ruth 2:11, NKJV).  In other words, he saw her caring nature and selflessness.  Fellas if you don’t know how to do anything else, at the given opportunity,  express appreciation or compliment a woman on whatever it is you admire about her, especially if you are interested in some way.  Be bold enough to say it as Boaz did.  So many times we women see that someone is interested in us,  but men linger in expressing that interest.  Man, if God is showing you someone and there is an interest, step up and express that interest or admiration. Next he promoted Ruth by basically giving her special privilege. First, Boaz was a man of wealth and had property. Remember Ruth just lost everything, so as a widow the law was that she could get food by gleaning or picking up the left over crops in any field that the reapers might have left behind after harvesting.  Nothing special about that.  But we see God’s divine providence working when  Ruth just happened to stumble upon Boaz’s field and he seems to pay extra care to her in such ways as  encouraging her  “…not glean in another field” (Ruth 2:8, NKJV) but stay in his, commanding the young men not to touch Ruth (Ruth 2:9, NKJV) and allowing Ruth to “…go to the vessels and drink from what the young men have drawn” (Ruth 2:9, NKJV) when she is thirsty. He even went as far as to tell the reapers let some of the grain purposely fall back so that she would have extra to pick up for herself.   He didn’t have to do all of that.  Let’s say if Racquel came along instead of Ruth, would Boaz have cared so much and gone to such lengths?  Even Ruth herself was shocked at his actions and said as much when she asked “…why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me …(Ruth 2:10, NKJV).  But when your aroma  that Dr. Pat always mentions is uniquely made for that person and God is in the midst, that one will show his interest and make it evident in a tangible way.  As the authors of Becoming A Woman Like Ruth state “God will make sure that your husband loves everything about you that He loves .”

3) Protected her

-So apparently there truly is nothing new under the sun and men will be men.  Shady was just as prevalent in ancient biblical times as it is now.  I love how Boaz wasn’t having it.  “Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you?” (Ruth 2:9, NKJV).  Boaz was not going to allow anyone to violate the treasure and  blessing God was giving him.  He protected his wife-to-be from the onset.

 4) Prayed a blessing over her.

-Ok besides a man in a well -tailored suit (and I will leave it there) , is there anything sexier than your man praying for you?  A man going before Father God Almighty on your behalf?  In Ruth 2:12 when Boaz uttered the words, “The Lord repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the Lord God of Israel , under whose wings you have come to take refuge” (NKJV) that is  essentially what he was doing.  Calling down a blessing from God for Ruth through prayer.  A man who follows and submits to God, is a man a woman can love and submit to in turn.  Because if he is  letting God lead him, you can’t go wrong. A praying man, definitely is key.

 5)Provided for Her

-Throughout the story we see Boaz being a provider in every way for Ruth.  He provided the field for her to glean, he provided for her to get extra grain, he provided protection against the advances of the young men and he invited her to eat at his personal table (Ruth 2:14, NKJV).  In addition to her physical  and financial well being, we see Boaz indirectly  providing for Ruth’s emotional well-being by giving her that sense of safety and protection as she is allowed to glean unhindered and that peace of mind of knowing she will not suffer hunger because provision to gain food has been made.  Truthfully, most women want a man who is financially wealthy.  Some  would say that is ideal.  But keep in mind although your Boaz may not come to you financially sound in the beginning, it certainly would make sense that he has the potential and ambition to advance to greater  levels of financial success and will be a well-rounded provider and contributor in both tangible and intangible ways.   What he may lack in finances, he makes up for in other avenues.

You know what the best thing is about Boaz?  He had Godly characteristics and is the prototype of Jesus Christ. Doesn’t God chose us, is in love with us and is concerned about every detail concerning us?  Doesn’t he promote us,  elevate us and bless us even when we don’t deserve it? Doesn’t He protect us and fight our battles even some we are not aware of?  Isn’t He Jehovah Jireh–the Lord God our ultimate provider? We know we cannot confine God to a box.  He may not bring your Boaz or Ruth in like fashion to the biblical story of Ruth.  God is pretty creative and it is not uncommon for Him to shock you and do things out of the box.  But if you truly let God chose for you, at some point a man or a woman who loves God and truly strives to live in a Godly way, not perfect but trying, will be the best asset you can find in a life partner.

I believe I will rise even  higher when God introduces me to that one He has formed to take this journey of life with me.   Good things come to those who wait.  Patiently waiting…..and yet still I rise 🙂

With peace and blessing may you continue to rise always,


  1. Shivonne McKay says:

    Thank you my Sister. We are in this journey together. We wait patiently!!!

  2. Drew says:

    Wow well put, and plenty of tid bits in here for the fellas!!!

  3. Georgette says:

    All I can say is WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for this

  4. franklin says:

    some blogger you are T. I can see you sitting there and the words are just flowing. Continue to let God lead your thoughts. One thing came to mind as i read this….most Christian men often neglect #4…..that’s what I’ve learned during the various marriage retreats i’ve attended. Because I know the burdens my wife bears for the million and one tasks she has, I often have to pray that God blesses her with energy, time management, good decision making skills, etc

    God bless you, and others who read this post

    • Thanks Frank! All praised to God. Thank you for your input. Very interesting and makes perfect sense. I am not married, but I can see how men could neglect praying and covering their wives and vice versa. Thank God you have been obedient to do it. Hopefully more people in marriage will make a regular habit. God bless!

  5. Olivia Whittaker says:

    That was a very good piece of information. My input to this is that we as many men/woman paint the picture of the perfect partner or MR RIGHT. If someone have that image carrying around in their head, the one that is chosen for them will be right in their face , but because he/she doesn’t fit your portrait you ended up a looser. Man look on the outside appearance but God looks at the heart. We don’t have to stoop low in order to remedy one’s loneliness, but if partner with someone who is willing to work towards God guided path then both can merge and grow together.

    >>> “And Yet Still I Rise….” 7/23/2013 8:43 AM >>>

    stillirise323 posted: “Ah….the undeniable scent of love is in the air. This weekend I had the privilege to attend the sacred union of 2 beautiful individuals coming together in marriage. You could feel the genuine love and dedication between them the entire time. From the mo”

    • Wow mom, you wrote something? Thanks and to God be the glory! Very insightful and so right. I know we can be guilty of bypassing the right person because we have our preconceived notions of who we thing Mr. Right is. But that is why it is so important to let God chose, which is what I am determined to do–because only God knows the heart and knows the right person He has designed for us. Love you!

  6. Keisha says:

    Well written. I hope anyone who is reading this post dissect it for what it is worth. The problem I see with people seeking mates now days is that people pick the characteristics that you label above but their definition is not inline with GOD’s definition. If we follow the word it will lead us to the right person. The signs will be there, but we cannot be overshadowed with comparisons or doubts because of previous relationships. I must say, I am happy that I am not single because what I hear from both men and women in regards to approaching, talking or being on the dating scene gives me a headache. You will find your Boaz soon, remember my dream; and you know I have been having a ton of dreams….LOL

    • Amen Keish! So true–the word of God is the blueprint to everything in life. Yes girl the dating scene could be pretty rough I hear. Don’t really know, because I am not dating much. Lol. But I believe and receive that the right one is coming soon. In God’s timing. God bless and thanks for the support!

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